Relationship

Self-growth

 * "I don’t think I’ve ever engaged in anything that has prompted more self-reflection and intense personal growth than has polyamory"
 * The blessing and the curse of polyamory is that love that includes more than one tends to illuminate those dark shadows that many would prefer to ignore. While some people deliberately seek out polyamorous relationships for the purpose of freeing themselves and their children from the neuroses arising from typical nuclear family dynamics, most inadvertently discover that polyamory provides a very fertile environment for replicating any dysfunctional patterns carried over from the parental triangle experienced in their family of origin.
 * Men may find childhood competition with Dad for the attention of Mom rekindled when they relate with a woman who has another lover. If they unconsciously begin to act out the old childhood script of competition with the man for the heart of the woman, an unpleasant and painful drama is likely to unfold. If instead they can consciously find ways to support each other in basking in the richness of loving both each other (which need not include sexuality) and the woman and to creatively manage the only truly limited resource—that is, time, not love—a more enjoyable outcome is possible.
 * Within Spiritual Partnership, mutual spiritual growth takes precedence over comfort and security and total honesty becomes part of the bond.
 * The ego is less involved when personal and spiritual growth remain paramount. This makes it easier to let go of jealousy and allow compersion to counter fear, which results in less drama.

Misconceptions about polyamory

 * Pitfalls or what polyamory is not
 * Unicorn Hunter’s Syndrome/DNA-driven sexual behavior: serial relationships where people “trade up”/upgrade for a better mate when the opportunity arises. See "More than two" parts on game-changers and bar-raiser → Polyamory, on the other hand, involves a conscious decision to act altruistically, that is, to put the well-being of others on an equal par with one’s own
 * In others, one partner reluctantly agrees to polyamory to win the affections of the other, secretly hoping that this unwelcome twist will magically vanish once they are committed to each other. Some are consciously or unconsciously creating a situation in which they can heal childhood wounds or replicate the large extended family they grew up in.
 * Some use polyamory to mask or excuse addictions to sex, work, or drama, while others seek utopian or spiritual rewards or want to take a stand for cultural change.